All That's Left
by Crazy Fool Stiney
Summary: Remus thinks back on the events of OotP. Remus/Sirius slash.


_"Remus."_

The sound of my name woke me out of sleep and I looked around the darkened room then reached for the robe beside the bed. I made my way down the hall pausing at the door to listen before I opened it enough to see inside.

Harry was sprawled out on his bed, sound asleep so I closed the door and went back to my room. _'Maybe it wasn't Harry,'_ a voice whispered in the back of my mind as I got back into bed.

"It was nothing, just a dream." I said aloud, as if to reassure myself.

The time of Lord Voldemort was over, thanks to Harry but we had not been without our losses._ 'Sirius!'_ My brain shouted, as if I needed to be reminded. I turned over towards the wall and tried to sleep again but it was too late, all I could think of was Sirius and the events of three years ago.

It was always fast, quick sex. We never had time for the slow, long sessions of love making like when we were young, before Azkaban separated us.

_'But something was different tonight.'_ I thought pulling Sirius' sleeping form closer to me. _'Intense, like it was the first time,' _I chuckled quietly, _'but without the clumsiness.'_

It had been two days since our conversation with Harry at the fireplace and Sirius had been in an off mood but when we went upstairs to bed it was if for a short time nothing mattered but our two sweat soaked bodies sliding together, pleasure building between us.

I looked at Sirius sleeping peacefully, who just hours before had been screaming my name in passion. I kissed him gently before getting out of bed to so I could get ready to relieve Arthur of his watch.

I tossed in my empty bed, wanting the memories to stop there. Nothing more, just that last night we made love, but it wasn't going to stop.

"Come on you can do better than that!"

I heard Sirius shout at Bellatrix and turned just in time to see him fall. I watched in horror, as he went through the veil. I was frozen, unable to do anything but stare in disbelief until Harry screamed for Sirius then started to run passed me towards the veil.

"There's nothing you can do Harry...nothing...He's gone." I heard myself say the words but felt unattached, like I was listening to someone else tell Harry that Sirius was gone.

Things after that became a blur.

"Remus."

I heard Tonks come into the room but feigned sleep; I didn't want to have to look at her and see hurt and pity. All I wanted was dreamless sleep and forgetfulness.

She leaned down and kissed my temple, "I'm sorry."

I didn't move after she left, I barely moved at all for days.

"I know you're awake, Remus. You must eat something." Molly stood in the doorway with a tray of food.

I didn't answer just started at the wall, clutching the pillow that still smelled of Sirius.

Molly sat on the bed and touched my shoulder.

"I know..." she began softly, " When Arthur was attacked, I have never been so frightened in my life. I didn't know what I would have done without him, but I knew if it had happened I would have to stay strong..." her voice hitched, "stay strong for my children. Let them know that we would make it through. Harry has a long and very dangerous road ahead of him and he must feel alone. He needs you, Remus. Sirius would want you to look after him, keep him safe."

I rolled over and looked at her tear-streaked face.

"I don't know if I can do this without him. Twice he's been taken from me, but this time there is no chance he's coming back."

I laid on the bed the rest of the day and into the night, the conversation with Molly running through my head. I had just started to fall asleep when I heard Harry's voice.

"Sirius."

I looked quickly around the room.

"Sirius Black!" The hurt and pleading in Harry voice as he called out to his godfather came from a small mirror on the dresser. Before I could pick it up I heard a sound of breaking glass.

I hadn't been the only one whose pain at losing Sirius had been overwhelming. Harry, who for too long had been alone, had lost the person who had so quickly become his family. I knew that the best thing I could do for Sirius was to take care of the boy who would save us all.

"I love you, Sirius. I'll watch over Harry the best I can, I promise." I reached for my clothes, quickly got dressed and made my way downstairs. I had a job to do.

"You'd be very proud of him Sirius, he did well." I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. "Wish you could be here. I miss you." I mumbled, feeling sleep finally take its hold on me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

_"I miss you too, Moony."_


End file.
